There are two types of affairs that you can choose to have. One is a short-term affair. The second is a long-term affair.
Generally, short-term affairs trump long-term affairs every time. We explain the reasons below.
Defining: Short-Term Affairs
A short-term affair is one where you barely know each other. At it’s shortest, it’s a fling with a hooker. At it’s longest, it lasts little more than a few meetings with the same partner.
Defining: Long-Term Affairs
A long-term affair is one where you know each other and start anticipating each other’s moves. This is the one where emotions (other than lust) start surfacing.
Choosing: Short VS Long
While the final choice and situation will always be yours (and yours only), we strongly recommend going towards short-term affairs instead of long-term affairs.
Short-term affairs have a clear advantage, when considering the overall discretion goal you’re aiming for when having an affair:
– They have a low emotional investment, and are mainly sexually oriented.
– Partners involved are cut-off from you before becoming emotional and problematic.
– Partner rotation ensures more control over the affair situation, and more discretion if you follow the guidelines on this site.
Long term affairs, while unavoidable for some, are almost always more complicated. You’ll find yourself being asked to leave your spouse, to see your affair partner more often, etc. It essentially becomes a micro-relationship (sometimes: a macro-relationship), which requires a different level of effort and management.
The longer you have an affair with someone, the more attached they become to you. The more your risk of being caught increases.
Let us illustrate. If you’re around someone you find fairly annoying, and boring, do you stick around? Or do you take the first chance you have to leave? You save yourself and get the hell out of there.
People don’t stick around people they dislike, unless they’re paying you to be there. Case in point: how many times did you hang out with a boss that you wouldn’t talk to on the street?
An affair is similar. The more you / they stick around, the more it’s clear it becomes a magnetic relationship. You love having them around and they love being around you. Emotions are plentiful. The situation eventually becomes … complicated …
We’re NOT suggesting avoiding emotions. Emotions are fine. Just not the ones that yield any long-term emotional attachment.
Understanding: Emotional Affairs
Emotional affairs become messy. Strong emotions, while the cornerstone of any relationship, make affairs complex. Lust is strong. Infatuation is stronger. It can easily turn to obsession, which decreases the desired discretion levels and in turn increases your risk of getting caught.
You need to figure out if you’re in it for the sex or a new relationship altogether. If you’re looking for a new relationship, you need a divorce lawyer, a few drinks. Remember: You need to be honest with yourself.
If you’re in it just for the sex, you’re in a position to have a controllable affair. You can learn to have short-term affairs and know how to break them off. You’ll learn how to avoid messy situations.